Feedback is a Gift

At Easter brunch yesterday, my dad leaned over to me and said, “I love all fruits, except the three you are serving.” He doesn’t like the berries … blue, black, or raspberry. Had I served strawberries, he offered, that would have worked.

I had a variety of choices on how to respond to his feedback, and I laughed.

My dad is a funny fellow and most of his observations are memorable for wit, cleverness, or in this case for his bluntness.

My brunch anecdote is an easy one to chuckle at. Some feedback I have received over the years has been much harder to digest or know what to do with.

This reminds me of a lesson from Rick Fredericks.

I met Rick, pictured below, when I was a part of the Office of University Communications at the University of Nebraska at Omaha. He was a consultant who specialized in organizational change and team dynamics among a long list of other talents. Rick taught me the concept that “feedback is a gift.” He taught me that I could listen, or not. Think about it, or not. Consider it, or not. Find a lesson, or not. He also was quite clear that sometimes the feedback does not ring true and should be forgotten.

Rick's approach was soft yet clear. He exemplified independence in his thinking, always encouraging others to seek perspectives from different angles in order to form their own judgments.

In December of 2021, Rick died from ALS. I just re-read his obituary, and it’s no surprise his guiding values were independence, compassion, doggedness, optimism, and reverence.

In the end, whether we find a lesson in the feedback, learn something new about ourselves, or simply reaffirm our existing beliefs, the process of considering feedback holds inherent value. It challenges us to reflect, evaluate, and evolve. Even if we ultimately choose to reject certain feedback, the act of engaging with it prompts self-awareness and critical thinking.

I am grateful for my time with Rick, and I try to carry his gentle wisdom with me.